It’s a… oh dear. Never mind.

The mascots have been unveiled, and it appears that the 2012 Olympics will be screened exclusively on CBeebies.

Meet Wenlock (on the left) and Mandeville (duh). Should you be wondering exactly what they’re supposed to be, well, so are the rest of us. I thought they might be a pair of stale Peeps that had been left a little too long in the microwave, but the press release says that they’re supposed to be beings made from droplets of molten steel that was used in the construction of the  new stadium. Presumably, later there’ll be bad cartoons explaining how they came into existence.  Oh joy. To my eyes, they look like the love children of a Moomintroll and a cyclops, with taxi signs bizarrely stuck on top of their heads (no, really, that’s what they’re supposed to be) and a disturbing  joint fetish for asexual day-glo jumpsuits. Either that, or someone sprayed bleach at Tinky Winky and Laa-Laa, then stretched them on a rack. The single eyes, apparently, are supposed to represent cameras. Riiiight. Wenlock, bless him/her/it, has the Olympic logo stencilled in orange across the chestal area. At least in this context it’s unlikely to induce seizures – just, perhaps, retinal bleeding.

And that photo’s scary. Either they’re vogueing, or they’re getting ready to karate-kick the photographer into next week. It’s going to be a long two years.

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3 thoughts on “It’s a… oh dear. Never mind.

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